We here at Esoterik Eatz know that greatness recognizes greatness. You, sir, have a refined palate. We accept Venmo and Zelle, but the latter tends to freeze up above the timberline leading to Shambala. Therefore carry yuan. And carry on.
Nice work. Curiously enough, it reminds me of a short story I wrote in the form of yelp reviews, called As I hang drying. But I really like the profaned Buddhist angle here
We here at Esoterik Eatz realize that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Swing by and pick up a free scoop of Kabbalah Kandy. Tzimtzum sprinkles are extra. Because inflation.
It's odd that of all the major sufferings and discontents in this world that Mr Deng enumerates, I suffer from absolutely all of them - except male pattern baldness, having a perfectly luxuriant head of hair with a bad case of ideas-dandruff - and yet I'm still a nice guy. I attribute this equanimity to a steady diet of spiritual fast food slathered with the chimichurri of cosmic harmony. Yum! Five stars.
PS. It's so annoying when you undergo "asking for a happy ending at a massage parlor but getting a cliffhanger", but at the end of the day it's what self-service was invented for. Saves on tips too because what self-respecting massage operative can demand extra while withholding extra, I ask you?
Esoterik Eatz appreciates your patronage and good taste, Samson. Keep your ass's jawbone away from our chef and things will remain kosher. That Philistine coastal air has done wonders for your sebum.
Also, do you extract “and they lived happily ever after” from EVERYTHING and insert your own ending? So you DO relapse into Onanism. You deserve a biopic: Onan the Destroyer.
Thanks for the positive review. Your eternal salvation is contingent upon it. But until the stars appear, you're subject to samsara. So don't die before.
This is an experience haha Love the yelp review format--brilliant!
Deng:
We here at Esoterik Eatz know that greatness recognizes greatness. You, sir, have a refined palate. We accept Venmo and Zelle, but the latter tends to freeze up above the timberline leading to Shambala. Therefore carry yuan. And carry on.
Nice work. Curiously enough, it reminds me of a short story I wrote in the form of yelp reviews, called As I hang drying. But I really like the profaned Buddhist angle here
Deng:
We here at Esoterik Eatz realize that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Swing by and pick up a free scoop of Kabbalah Kandy. Tzimtzum sprinkles are extra. Because inflation.
It's odd that of all the major sufferings and discontents in this world that Mr Deng enumerates, I suffer from absolutely all of them - except male pattern baldness, having a perfectly luxuriant head of hair with a bad case of ideas-dandruff - and yet I'm still a nice guy. I attribute this equanimity to a steady diet of spiritual fast food slathered with the chimichurri of cosmic harmony. Yum! Five stars.
PS. It's so annoying when you undergo "asking for a happy ending at a massage parlor but getting a cliffhanger", but at the end of the day it's what self-service was invented for. Saves on tips too because what self-respecting massage operative can demand extra while withholding extra, I ask you?
Deng:
Esoterik Eatz appreciates your patronage and good taste, Samson. Keep your ass's jawbone away from our chef and things will remain kosher. That Philistine coastal air has done wonders for your sebum.
Also, do you extract “and they lived happily ever after” from EVERYTHING and insert your own ending? So you DO relapse into Onanism. You deserve a biopic: Onan the Destroyer.
Onan The Destroyer - now coming in a cinema near you.
I'm there.
Left some stars but you may not have observed them yet.
Smart funny sharp words Mister.
Deng:
Thanks for the positive review. Your eternal salvation is contingent upon it. But until the stars appear, you're subject to samsara. So don't die before.
I found this incredibly funny.
Thanks, Isha.
🤣
👻